I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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