Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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