If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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