i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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