Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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