So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
