therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
