I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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