I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will pee on everything he values.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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