So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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