I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Randomize