you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Vodka?
Forever.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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