Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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