I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
