mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Randomize
