Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
