so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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