what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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