She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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