Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
