Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
