There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
