I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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