Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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