I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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