I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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