she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
