The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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