My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
