A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
