that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
do herpes really smell.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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