Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The power of my boobs compel you
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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