Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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