I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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