then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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