Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just want nice things and good sex
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize