Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
