he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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