someone threw a dead crab at me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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