This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize