thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why did my mother make you get naked?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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