Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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