The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
