No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
