I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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