I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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