We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize