You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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