Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
