I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
