I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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