So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
