sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
