but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
