Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
