I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
