Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can I color on your dick again?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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