Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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