just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize