I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
