But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
