she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
