My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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