So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
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You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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