My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
