You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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