Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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