I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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