I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
